To whom it may concern:
Dear NSA employee, I would be eternally grateful if you could manage to permanently document all my Google searches, Bing queries, E-mails, and all other research I have done regarding the following, but not limited to: Murder, Drugs, Theft, Jihad, Terrorism, Car Bomb, Espionage, Pipe Bombs, Suicide Vests, Faking Death, Secluded Mountain Areas, Vets, Farm Animals, Power Grid, Elections, the NSA (Sorry, had to check), the State Department, the Middle East, Prepping, Al Qaeda, Murder (it's a reoccurring theme), Arms Deals, the Qur'an, etc., etc., etc.
I've come to accept that my mind is a truly scary place at times.
I was sitting in the living room writing on the laptop and had to locate a recent search I did. As I went through the "history" I was struck that if anything sinister happened within a hundred and fifty mile radius I was most likely going to get a knock on my door.
It's times like this you want a national security agency keeping tabs on you so that you can say "look, I'm an author, it was only research."
Then I realized it was my wife's laptop and I breathed a sigh of relief.
I hear the female facilities for the Bureau of Prisons are so much nicer.
Gotta run, I need to go check the effective blast radius for C-4.
"Hey honey, are you using your laptop?"
